Christianity Is About Rule-Keeping, Not Relationship

(Clearing the Fog – Part 1)

Why This Misunderstanding Exists

If you’ve ever walked into a church and felt like it was all about dress codes, behavior lists, or “holy checkmarks,” you’re not alone. Many people—inside and outside church—have been led to believe that being a Christian means following a long set of religious rules to keep God happy.

And honestly? Sometimes Christians unintentionally reinforce that idea. They focus on what you shouldn’t do rather than introducing you to who Jesus is. The result? Faith starts to look more like a burdensome contract than a relationship with a living Savior.

The Bible’s Take on It

From the very start, God’s desire was never to create a religion of “Do this or else.” His heart has always been to walk in close relationship with His people.

When Jesus showed up, He challenged the rule-keeping mindset of the religious leaders of His day. They had hundreds of laws, and they judged people by how well they followed them. But Jesus said something radical:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” — Matthew 11:28–29 (NIV)

Notice He didn’t say, “Come to me, and I’ll give you more rules to follow.” He offered rest, grace, and an invitation to walk with Him.

Saved by Grace, Not Good Behavior

The Apostle Paul put it plainly:

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” — Ephesians 2:8–9 (NIV)

Christianity isn’t about climbing a moral ladder to earn God’s approval. It’s about trusting in what Jesus already did on the cross. Grace means you can’t earn it—you simply receive it.

As theologian Timothy Keller once said:

“The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”

Why Rules Alone Will Fail You

Rules can modify behavior, but they can’t transform your heart. You can keep every religious command perfectly on the outside and still be empty on the inside.

Jesus made this clear when He quoted the prophet Isaiah to the religious leaders:

“These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” — Matthew 15:8 (NIV)

God is far more interested in your heart than your performance. In fact, when you truly experience His love, obedience becomes a joyful response—not a burdensome chore.

The Relationship Difference

Think of it like this: If your closest friendship or marriage was built entirely on a list of “must-do’s” and “must-not-do’s,” it wouldn’t last long. Healthy relationships are rooted in love, trust, and shared life—not constant rule-keeping.

Christianity works the same way. Yes, God gives us principles to live by—but they flow out of the relationship, not the other way around.

Jesus Himself summarized all the commandments into two relational statements:

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ … And ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” — Matthew 22:37–40 (NIV)

If You’re on the Fringe or Just Curious

You might be thinking, “That sounds nice, but church people haven’t always made me feel like it’s about relationship.” If that’s your story, I want you to know—Jesus feels the same frustration. In fact, some of His harshest words were for religious leaders who misrepresented God’s heart.

Faith is not a religious treadmill you have to run on to earn God’s approval. It’s more like coming home after a long journey—and finding the Father running toward you with open arms (Luke 15:20).

Takeaway

Christianity is not about living under a heavy set of rules to please a distant deity. It’s about knowing and being known by the God who loves you enough to step into your world, take your place on the cross, and walk with you daily.

When you start with relationship, the “rules” stop feeling like rules—they become the natural outflow of love.

“Christianity is not a religion; it is the announcement of the end of religion, because Jesus has done it all.” — Gerhard Forde